I have been on a break from blogging. I am learning to spend time alone with myself and be happy about it. I have found after years of always being in the company of someone ,children, other family members, friends, and neighbors, this is the hardest thing to do. This is a time when i can learn about my own strengths, weakness and insecurities, When I am out by myself often I feel uncomfortable, and self-conscious. Not knowing where to put my hands, and while not having anyone sitting with me to get lost in conversation with, and not knowing where to look. I have never just went to out to eat, visit a park or nature center ,by myself an this has been an adjustment for me.
Learning to be happy by myself is hard I have found. This is a time for me to learn to be happy by myself , if i accomplish this then I will not be dependant on anyone for my own happiness. Learning to be an observer, enjoying the beauty the world has to offer. Learn how to talk to myself and not look mentally lacking while doing it. Learning to distance myself from that negative inner voice. I have been trying my hand at photography. Missing my family like crazy. trying to get my health back, several times over the last three years I have almost left this earth, My sister says I have nine lives but she is not sure how many I have used.
I have moved hundreds of miles away from my friends and family, left my job I had been at for 10 years. Trying to find that inner and outer peace, get the stress down , so maybe I can get my health back and stay around for a few more years. Learning to like that daily text have you eat? what did you eat? because I am an adult with a BMI of less than 19. I often forget to eat, and now I am trying to fight that inner fear that I am going to end up with an ass the size of Texas if I eat daily, which I know is just stinky thinking.
The hardest thing for me is trying to realize and accept all my children are grown and responsible for their-self, trying to learn that I need to watch then fail and not try and prevent the failures in life, Trying to make sure before I leave this earth that they are all self supportive, and not dependant on me. some are mad at me because I told then it was time they got a job , that I was moving and they could not come with me.
Lately my life seems like it has come sort of full circle people from my past coming back into my life , so I can have the chance at making the wrongs ,right, Kinda makes one think that maybe god is getting, you ready to go.
I am going to try and write one blog post weekly to get back into things. try one new thing weekly. Until next time enjoy life, take care and much happiness.

About tabethabeautyreviews

About me well I have recently been pondering what I have on my page is being educated about me who I am. My friends are saying here comes the weird Psychology degree stuff. Well some know my past and some don’t, I have always heard don’t put your mistakes (trash out) for all to see. I have decided if its not out for all to see then how is the younger generation going to learn from the older generations mistakes. First I started running away at 14 to get out of a bad home life was this the smartest thing I have ever done, no what did I learn a many lessons in life , what jobs I wanted and did not want is the biggest one for sure to the guy at the paper tiger lounge in Denver, I am so sorry that I risked your business as a Dum teenage kid. To Kay and Myron Nichols from Aurora thanks for taking in a teenager and getting her out of employment that she had no business in. Thanks Kay for trying to teach that kid that she wasn’t ready in life to be a wife and mother and thanks Myron for eating that no bake jello pie that I messed up so bad on. Second to you young bloggers that read my blog to help me out, I was a teenage high school drop out that got pregnant at 16 to get out of a bad home and ended up jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Remember this no matter what mistakes you have made its never to late to start over. I divorced at age 18 and just kept jumping from one bad marriage to another. It took me till my twenties to get that high school diploma, then I walked into Carl Albert state college and enrolled and with 4 kids and a job I now have an associates from Carl Albert state college in sociology/Psychology and a bachelors in psychology with an emphasis in mental health and I have a master’s of science in psychology from the University of Phoenix. I maintained above at least a 3.27 at all the colleges while raising 4 kids and holding a job down. So it is never too late to change your life. The relationship Mistakes first to the professor at NSU that made it a point to tell me that I didn’t have a big red sign on my back that says if you’re a woman beater come my way that it was because I didn’t stay single long enough that I just kept marrying the same man he just had a different face. Thank you I have remained single now and haven’t dated for 5 years and I know see that you are correct. To Craig the guy that came around since I was 14 until I was 30 I finally grew up to bad that you got tired of waiting I am glad that you finally have your soul mate. Now at 45 am looking at changing my career direction scary but all will work out. Second no friends and co-workers I haven’t went crazy from the stress. I just decided that dealing with the fact that I am getting older and showing it is ok. I still intend to get old gracefully and become that girly, girl. This is about me in all my trash being out there

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