“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” – Steve Maraboli
Love yourself enough that when your family, friends or acquaintances need help and it is not in your best interest to help them, be able to say no. It Is ok, to say no, Practice saying no I cannot help you. I was taught growing up to always help others sometimes it is hard for me to say no. sometimes self-love is hard to find. If you are obese, have deformities, or health problems. Sometimes you hold hatred for yourself. I recently was helping a friend come up with a password I suggested they use the phrase I love (theirname)@(theirbirthdate) they said I do not love myself and refused to use the password. I thought, if you cannot love yourself how can you expect anyone else to. This was a profound moment for me.
I have had trouble with Bulimia and I have Pectus carinatum, I have a hearing loss with a constant humming in my ear. I have degenerative Arthritis and sometimes use a cane. Does all this drive me crazy? Yes sometimes but it is here to stay.I have learned that I can sit at home and feel sorry for myself or I can get out and enjoy life. Instead of feeling like I am incomplete. I have learned that, my hearing loss has resulted in other senses being elevated. I am educated, I am a kind, generous person, and I have a huge capacity for love. I am awesome.
Forgiving yourself for past mistakes, this is the hardest thing to do. When you have made mistakes there is nothing worse than the utter defeat and despair that comes with it. Sometimes we are blindsided by the mistake, it can take months, or years to recover from it. The forgiveness will not happen overnight, but it will come. You need to just pick yourself up, pick up the broken pieces of you and move on. Find the one thing, that you benefited, from with this mistake. Was it a deeper understanding? This will give you a better radar for the future. Remember like Amy Bloom said “You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”
Be true to yourself, be who you are, be your genuine self. Use your own common sense and your own value system. Listen to others, but use your own mind to decide, do not just follow the crowd. Examine your life, is every situation your involved with, healthy for you? Be happy and comfortable in your own skin.
How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you. You have to be the example of how others will treat you. If you disrespect yourself, others will walk all over you. If you respect yourself others will respect you. Know what you are worth, do not settle for less than you deserve in life. The way you believe about yourself and treat yourself, teaches people how to treat you. I have finally came to realize I deserve more in life than I have accepted, or given myself in the last 26 years.
If you are ever in a situation where someone tells you there will never be love for you, love yourself enough to walk away and never look back. If your in a relationship that has not worked for weeks, months/years and has only brought sadness in your life, Or maybe the bad times outnumber the good times, love yourself enough to walk away. Sometime a relationship is not what is best for you, but you hold no anger towards the other person but the situation is not healthy for you, it will be hard to walk away but, Know that you owe yourself first. Some women/men never reach the point where they achieve true unconditional self-love. Start today to achieve this. Make a note for yourself, on a piece of paper or get a tattoo, that you can look at, just a reminder that you need to love yourself first.
Remember “My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me” -stevemaraboli