My Mid Life empty nest Mayhem

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My Mid Life empty nest Mayhem

I started this blog as a way to deal with being midlife and a pending empty nest.  Then it became a review blog and a spill your guts hospital blog. So I just got out of a hospital stay from August 30 till September 4th.  This time I came closer to meeting our maker than I like.  So I was asked by the hospitalist if I wanted her to start my heart back if it stopped. I now get to decide if my quality of life is that bad or if the life I have made for myself is bad? Most people do not get the chance to reflect on this.

I look back on life at 15 I started being caretaker for my grandfather who had Alzheimer’s . My maternal grandparents were always my rock to lean on. I also had a elderly Aunt June and a elderly friend lee, I took care of in some way or another. I started having children at 16. I have four Latisha age 30, Kyle age 29, Kevin age 21 and Caleb age 20. I have also taken care of my grandchildren for a while 3 little girls. In August My nest became empty.

I now realize my nest will remain empty it is time for my children to sink or swim while I am still alive. I also came to realize everything, every choice in my life has been made for someone else’s benefit from education to homes, never once was it my benefit.  I love my children more than anything but it is time they work and support themselves or find out how life is for people that do not.

I made a trip today to the Dora cemetery to visit my father’s grave he died 9-10.2009. I did not attend his funeral and never visited his grave till today. I have found that forgiveness even where it wasn’t asked is important for you. In life sometimes things are funny the way they work out. He had 4 children two he always claimed and 3 he claimed for a while of course when I stood up to him and walked away 26 years ago I fell to the side, Out of the 4 he has two who suffers from schizophrenia and one that is MR and then there is me I got the gift of his bad lungs. It took 26 years for me to be able to say I forgive you and love you. The step mother that walked in and chose to turn around and go back to bed and treat me like I was competition, instead of a little girl that needed your help, you have never asked I forgive you. I realize that in life you face what your mind can take.

Now I contemplate what I do with life now that my nest is empty, and it is finally time to do what makes me happy.  While I do that I will have a glass of Arbor Mist Moscato in Mango Strawberry and a kimberleys strawberry shortcake cupcake.

 

About tabethabeautyreviews

About me well I have recently been pondering what I have on my page is being educated about me who I am. My friends are saying here comes the weird Psychology degree stuff. Well some know my past and some don’t, I have always heard don’t put your mistakes (trash out) for all to see. I have decided if its not out for all to see then how is the younger generation going to learn from the older generations mistakes. First I started running away at 14 to get out of a bad home life was this the smartest thing I have ever done, no what did I learn a many lessons in life , what jobs I wanted and did not want is the biggest one for sure to the guy at the paper tiger lounge in Denver, I am so sorry that I risked your business as a Dum teenage kid. To Kay and Myron Nichols from Aurora thanks for taking in a teenager and getting her out of employment that she had no business in. Thanks Kay for trying to teach that kid that she wasn’t ready in life to be a wife and mother and thanks Myron for eating that no bake jello pie that I messed up so bad on. Second to you young bloggers that read my blog to help me out, I was a teenage high school drop out that got pregnant at 16 to get out of a bad home and ended up jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Remember this no matter what mistakes you have made its never to late to start over. I divorced at age 18 and just kept jumping from one bad marriage to another. It took me till my twenties to get that high school diploma, then I walked into Carl Albert state college and enrolled and with 4 kids and a job I now have an associates from Carl Albert state college in sociology/Psychology and a bachelors in psychology with an emphasis in mental health and I have a master’s of science in psychology from the University of Phoenix. I maintained above at least a 3.27 at all the colleges while raising 4 kids and holding a job down. So it is never too late to change your life. The relationship Mistakes first to the professor at NSU that made it a point to tell me that I didn’t have a big red sign on my back that says if you’re a woman beater come my way that it was because I didn’t stay single long enough that I just kept marrying the same man he just had a different face. Thank you I have remained single now and haven’t dated for 5 years and I know see that you are correct. To Craig the guy that came around since I was 14 until I was 30 I finally grew up to bad that you got tired of waiting I am glad that you finally have your soul mate. Now at 45 am looking at changing my career direction scary but all will work out. Second no friends and co-workers I haven’t went crazy from the stress. I just decided that dealing with the fact that I am getting older and showing it is ok. I still intend to get old gracefully and become that girly, girl. This is about me in all my trash being out there

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