Life has many Bumps

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Life has many Bumps

This is my first blog in a very long time. In June they found a spot on my lung, then at the same time they found a mass on a friend and co-workers lung. They told her she had stage 4 small cell lung cancer and told me to wait 2 months to see if mine had grown. Then I watched lung cancer take down one of the strongest toughest women I know. I can remember visiting her in the hospital and telling her to not be afraid because that made it hard to breath even more. I can remember her telling me I am afraid.  In less than 30 days God got another angel on July 1st 2015.  When Deb passed away that scared me I started emailing Dr Khan and telling him what kind of test he needed to run and how quick he needed to do it and like a man of few words he put me back in my place in his own way that I am sure comes from being raised in Pakistan he is a great critical care pulmonologist but he has no bedside manner just sticks to facts and that is it.

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During those three months I was waiting my hair stylist called me and said Tabetha I want you to be my model for the next 6 months I want to color and cut and style your hair for free. I m sure she did this so I had something to think about and look forward to besides the dreaded cancer bomb. She is more than my hair stylist she is a great friend that did accompany me to visits to the doctor which I will always be great full for. Check her out she is Vonnda Rooks at Classy Attitudes 6206 South 31stFortSmith Arkansas 479-646-4243  God had put some amazing people in my life.

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I had my Cat scan in August and Dr Khan said that it had not grown but he would Biopsy it for my peace of mind.  During this wait I had the opportunity to get hearing aids and had an MRI that found I have Lumbar nerve root disorder, Spinal stenosis caused from osteoarthritis and a synovial cyst that apparently is not protruding in the sac yet that is protecting my spinal cord but is pushing against it, so I got a cane which I refused to use. I also have chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. I have been told I am a strong woman, a stubborn woman and that’s why I can still work . I think it is because I have been blessed to work at the Arkansas DHS Sebastian county office. Which is stressful but I have always been blessed with great bosses Glendean Mcgill one of the greatest knowledgeable women at that office I am still there because I had the opportunity to learn from the best and I also have fantastic co-workers.

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In September 3rd 2015 I had my lung biopsy which resulted in a pneumothorax which is a collapsed lung. Pneumothorax occurs when air leaks into the space between your lungs and chest wall. This air pushes on the outside of your lung and makes it collapse. In most cases, only a portion of the lung collapses and a chest tube is a flexible plastic tube that is inserted through the chest wall and into the pleural space or mediastinum. Dr Khan told me that if this did not resolve where I could have no suction on the tube and no air leak he would do a procedure called pleurodesis.which is a special chemical is placed into the area of the collapsed lung. This chemical causes a scar to form.  Dr Khan like I have said is a man of few words and all he said about this is it causes a lot of pain extreme pain.

So all I could think of is if something goes wrong my lungs are weak from the COPD and I will meet my maker. I was so scared I finally took my friend Katie’s advice I told him I have one good lung and if you mess that one up I am screwed and he looked at me like I was crazy and said what do you mean you have one good lung.  So the date for this was September 7 2015  So I found out I had no other choice so I turned to my maker my one healer God and the prayer warriors in my life and on Facebook. I figure if you have Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Catholics and pagans praying for you, god is covered on all levels.  The morning of the 7th when the RN Lynette walked in my room at the end of her  very busy shift and asked if she could pray with me before she left , I knew then God had me in his arms and whatever came to pass would be and I could handle. It. I have always thought death did not scare me but the truth is it does I have no desire to stand before God anytime to soon. That young RN Lynette will never know just what that one act meant to me. My sister Rhonda told me that I must have 9 lives like a cat but he only thing is she is not sure how many I have used. The saddest part is a Facebook friend from Africa once told me the truth I have done this to myself by smoking and he even got angry that I have smoked after being so sick and the saddest part is if not for fear from another collapsed lung I would still smoke. This was a pain that I have never endured before and I have had 4 C-sections and shoulder surgery and this was by far the greatest pain I have every felt. So far this year I was hospitalized at mercy in January, April and September.

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I have a daughter that has struggled with meth and Ice addition for about 10 years now and I have heard people say that the stress from her and me having 3 of her children for over a year helped my health go down and I want this talk stopped  never want my daughter or my granddaughters to believe that my love for them did this to me because Solomon was correct I did this to myself.  Now ending this with a little humor see this box it is the Atrium Oasis dry suction water seal chest drain see it even comes with instructions but do people read it nope they are still attached and people with chest tubes are usually not on the floor I was on so the nurses did not know too much about these tubes and we laughed that they had instructions that none of us read.

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My Great revelation is that I am the grandmother to 8 children and the oldest is a 12-year-old young man and I am happy about that.

About tabethabeautyreviews

About me well I have recently been pondering what I have on my page is being educated about me who I am. My friends are saying here comes the weird Psychology degree stuff. Well some know my past and some don’t, I have always heard don’t put your mistakes (trash out) for all to see. I have decided if its not out for all to see then how is the younger generation going to learn from the older generations mistakes. First I started running away at 14 to get out of a bad home life was this the smartest thing I have ever done, no what did I learn a many lessons in life , what jobs I wanted and did not want is the biggest one for sure to the guy at the paper tiger lounge in Denver, I am so sorry that I risked your business as a Dum teenage kid. To Kay and Myron Nichols from Aurora thanks for taking in a teenager and getting her out of employment that she had no business in. Thanks Kay for trying to teach that kid that she wasn’t ready in life to be a wife and mother and thanks Myron for eating that no bake jello pie that I messed up so bad on. Second to you young bloggers that read my blog to help me out, I was a teenage high school drop out that got pregnant at 16 to get out of a bad home and ended up jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Remember this no matter what mistakes you have made its never to late to start over. I divorced at age 18 and just kept jumping from one bad marriage to another. It took me till my twenties to get that high school diploma, then I walked into Carl Albert state college and enrolled and with 4 kids and a job I now have an associates from Carl Albert state college in sociology/Psychology and a bachelors in psychology with an emphasis in mental health and I have a master’s of science in psychology from the University of Phoenix. I maintained above at least a 3.27 at all the colleges while raising 4 kids and holding a job down. So it is never too late to change your life. The relationship Mistakes first to the professor at NSU that made it a point to tell me that I didn’t have a big red sign on my back that says if you’re a woman beater come my way that it was because I didn’t stay single long enough that I just kept marrying the same man he just had a different face. Thank you I have remained single now and haven’t dated for 5 years and I know see that you are correct. To Craig the guy that came around since I was 14 until I was 30 I finally grew up to bad that you got tired of waiting I am glad that you finally have your soul mate. Now at 45 am looking at changing my career direction scary but all will work out. Second no friends and co-workers I haven’t went crazy from the stress. I just decided that dealing with the fact that I am getting older and showing it is ok. I still intend to get old gracefully and become that girly, girl. This is about me in all my trash being out there

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