When 2014 started off I was thinking about how to not feel the sting of an empty nest. I was working two jobs one at the department of Human services as an eligibility specialist, and the other a sales girl at the Dillard’s men’s store selling denim. I was trying to start blogging to fill the extra time between jobs. Dealing with being middle age and being too much of a tom boy.
Then the last week of January 2014 my eyes were opened to my daughter’s drug addiction in a big way and I became a grandmother raising her children. I got three beautiful girls Laken age 4 at that time, Lacen age 3 at that time and Gracen age 3 months at that time. My own 4, children were all 18 or over. I had to arrange for daycare and could not believe the cost in that expense. Then came finding the right daycare, all while being absent from my job because I got them overnight and instantly became a single grandmother. They had behavior issues, no clothes because they were in bags with trash and very little came with them.
If you think your child’s drug addiction cannot affect you financially you are wrong. I took the girls that was my choice could I have let the state do it , yes but they are my grandchildren and I love them and couldn’t let that happen. She comes some weekends to visit the girls at my home and I listen to her tell me she is working so she can get herself ready to take care of the girls, only to find out she only works for her room at a motel.
So here I am at 46 starting over raising children and waiting to see what fathers straighten up and come to take them, and have my heart break. Praying my daughter sees herself what she is missing and gets the help she needs, and starts to takecare of herself then her girls. Gaining new respect for stay at home Moms on the weekend sometimes thinking hurry weekend the hell up and just get over. On weekdays gaining new respect for working single moms thinking how do you do this. The grils are now ages 5, 4 and 1. Do not get me wrog I have a lot of joys, I got to see and hear a lot of Gracens first like the dog out ranking me when she is learning to talk lol she can holler for the dog her Dada but me granny not yet. She walks, and is talking some. Laken started pre-k, I got to see the joy of her bringing the first Christmas gift in to me, I get to see Lacins joy when she opened her Christmas gifts and her experiences at the daycare center.
I can remember years ago swearing I would never marry again only to start thinking no maybe that is wrong then reality sets in I cannot marry just for someone to share this experience. My blogging and product review has taken a back seat for awhile till I get the full hang of all this. I belong to some awesome blogger sites like @Influenster, @Smiley360 , @Crawdtap and @Bzzagent. The links are on my blog check them out. I have met some awesome individuals through these sites that help each other out. So in 2015 I will still be dealing with being 46 (Middle age), raising the girls as a single tom-boy grandmother.