2015 A New Year looking back at 2014 in review

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2015 A New Year looking back at 2014 in review

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When 2014 started off I was thinking about how to not feel the sting of an empty nest.  I was working two jobs one at the department of Human services as an eligibility specialist, and the other a sales girl at the Dillard’s men’s store selling denim. I was trying to start blogging to fill the extra time between jobs. Dealing with being middle age and being too much of a tom boy.

Then the last week of January 2014 my eyes were opened to my daughter’s drug addiction in a big way and I became a grandmother raising her children. I got three beautiful girls Laken age 4 at that time, Lacen age 3 at that time and Gracen age 3 months at that time.  My own 4, children were all 18 or over. I had to arrange for daycare and could not believe the cost in that expense.  Then came finding the right daycare, all while being absent from my job because I got them overnight and instantly became a single grandmother. They had behavior issues, no clothes because they were in bags with trash and very little came with them.

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If you think your child’s drug addiction cannot affect you financially you are wrong. I took the girls that was my choice could I have let the state do it , yes but they are my grandchildren and I love them and couldn’t let that happen.  She comes some weekends to visit the girls at my home and I listen to her tell me she is working  so she can get herself ready to take care of the girls, only to find out she only works for her room at a motel.

So here I am at 46 starting over raising children and waiting to see what fathers straighten up and come to take them, and have my heart break.  Praying my daughter sees herself what she is missing and gets the help she needs, and starts to takecare of herself then her girls. Gaining new respect for stay at home Moms on the weekend sometimes thinking hurry weekend the hell up and just get over. On weekdays gaining new respect for working single moms thinking how do you do this.  The grils are now ages 5, 4 and 1.  Do not get me wrog I have a lot of joys, I got to see and hear a lot of Gracens first like the dog out ranking me when she is learning to talk lol she can holler for the dog her Dada but me granny not yet. She walks, and is talking some. Laken started pre-k,  I got to see the joy of her bringing the first Christmas gift in to me, I get to see Lacins joy when she opened her Christmas gifts and her experiences at the daycare center.

I can remember years ago swearing I would never marry again only to start thinking no maybe that is wrong then reality sets in I cannot marry just for someone to share this experience.  My blogging and product review has taken a back seat for awhile till I get the full hang of all this.  I belong to some awesome blogger sites like  @Influenster, @Smiley360 , @Crawdtap and @Bzzagent. The links are on my blog check them out.  I have met some awesome individuals through these sites that help each other out.  So in 2015 I will still be dealing with being 46 (Middle age), raising the girls as a single tom-boy grandmother.

About tabethabeautyreviews

About me well I have recently been pondering what I have on my page is being educated about me who I am. My friends are saying here comes the weird Psychology degree stuff. Well some know my past and some don’t, I have always heard don’t put your mistakes (trash out) for all to see. I have decided if its not out for all to see then how is the younger generation going to learn from the older generations mistakes. First I started running away at 14 to get out of a bad home life was this the smartest thing I have ever done, no what did I learn a many lessons in life , what jobs I wanted and did not want is the biggest one for sure to the guy at the paper tiger lounge in Denver, I am so sorry that I risked your business as a Dum teenage kid. To Kay and Myron Nichols from Aurora thanks for taking in a teenager and getting her out of employment that she had no business in. Thanks Kay for trying to teach that kid that she wasn’t ready in life to be a wife and mother and thanks Myron for eating that no bake jello pie that I messed up so bad on. Second to you young bloggers that read my blog to help me out, I was a teenage high school drop out that got pregnant at 16 to get out of a bad home and ended up jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Remember this no matter what mistakes you have made its never to late to start over. I divorced at age 18 and just kept jumping from one bad marriage to another. It took me till my twenties to get that high school diploma, then I walked into Carl Albert state college and enrolled and with 4 kids and a job I now have an associates from Carl Albert state college in sociology/Psychology and a bachelors in psychology with an emphasis in mental health and I have a master’s of science in psychology from the University of Phoenix. I maintained above at least a 3.27 at all the colleges while raising 4 kids and holding a job down. So it is never too late to change your life. The relationship Mistakes first to the professor at NSU that made it a point to tell me that I didn’t have a big red sign on my back that says if you’re a woman beater come my way that it was because I didn’t stay single long enough that I just kept marrying the same man he just had a different face. Thank you I have remained single now and haven’t dated for 5 years and I know see that you are correct. To Craig the guy that came around since I was 14 until I was 30 I finally grew up to bad that you got tired of waiting I am glad that you finally have your soul mate. Now at 45 am looking at changing my career direction scary but all will work out. Second no friends and co-workers I haven’t went crazy from the stress. I just decided that dealing with the fact that I am getting older and showing it is ok. I still intend to get old gracefully and become that girly, girl. This is about me in all my trash being out there

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